Lonely With Her Thoughts
by Winddragon Eternal
Summary: Squirrelflight comforts Leafpool, who is plagued with the guilt and shame of the consequences she now faces after her terrible secret is discovered. Takes place before The Fourth Apprentice. Oneshot.


_Yes, this is my first Warriors fanfic. After all, I am a big fan of the series. I don't own any of the characters - Erin Hunter does. This one takes place in between Sunrise and The Fourth Apprentice.  
_

**Lonely With Her Thoughts**

Squirrelflight couldn't sleep.

Try as she might, she tossed and turned, but sleep did not come to her. It was a surprise that none of the other sleeping warriors were disturbed. Squirrelflight got to her paws and shook herself. She thought of nuzzling up to Brambleclaw, but paused as the memories came back. Her mate was still in the worst of moods ever since the last Gathering, and only addressed her during patrol duties.

Squirrelflight sighed. Perhaps a bit of fresh night air would do her some good.

She treaded softly, moving in and out of warm, snoozing pelts. Sorreltail was just sleeping at the entrance, Brackenfur by her side. Careful not to step over her Clanmate's tail, Squirrelflight sauntered quietly out of the den.

As she slipped out of the entrance to ThunderClan, her instincts started to cloud her mind like the first signs of rainfall. She ran and ran until her paws were throbbing with exhaustion. When at last she came to her senses, Squirrelflight saw herself standing on the top of a small hill, just a few tail-lengths away from reaching the WindClan border.

She was about to leave when another figure standing there caught her attention and she smiled.

Leafpool's brown fur glistened in the moonlight as the former medicine cat looked longingly at the vast expanse of Silverpelt towering above. The ancestors shined in all their glory and brilliance as they watched the world revolve before their very eyes.

"Can't sleep?" asked Leafpool, not once looking down.

"Yeah." Squirrelflight sat next to her sister, purring as they rubbed noses. "What are you doing?"

"Since the Gathering, StarClan hasn't spoken to me in my dreams at all. So, I thought that perhaps, if I came to see them in person, they would give me some answers."

Squirrelflight gazed up at the sky, wondering what it must feel like to have that gift. "And have they said anything?"

Leafpool shook her head. "Still as silent as the stars above. They're angry with me, Squirrelflight. I know it. That's why they won't speak to me anymore. I've lost everything."

Squirrelflight would have expected her sister to be blaming herself in grief, but Leafpool appeared to be taking all of this calmly. She reached into her sister's mind. Her thoughts seemed to be filled with a certain cat with a dark grey pelt and a scowl on his face.

"Are you still thinking about him?" asked Squirrelflight.

Leafpool was confused. "Who?"

"You know who I mean. Crowfeather."

Squirrelflight remembered her first encounter with the WindClan cat. Even as an apprentice, he certainly left a huge impression on Squirrelflight. His tongue was sharper than any blade of grass, a real bossy cat and always behaved as though he was in charge. Sometimes, she thought that his words pricked at other cats' pelts like stinging nettles.

Leafpool knew she couldn't betray her feelings. "Yes, I do. I wonder if he's up on some hill too, thinking about what we've done."

"What do you see now in Crowfeather?" asked Squirrelflight.

The former medicine cat turned to glance at her sister. "I might ask you the same thing with Brambleclaw."

Squirrelflight flattened her ears and let out a contemptuous hiss. "Please don't bring that subject up again! Brambleclaw hates me! You saw the hatred in his eyes after I'd hurt him! Now I'm afraid that he might leave me for another cat."

"That's furball talk! You and Brambleclaw have been together for moons. I'm sure he'll find it in his heart to forgive you. Someday," assured Leafpool.

Then a shiver ran down her pelt. "But I can never find it in my own heart to forgive myself. Look at me, Squirrelflight. My love has cost me so much! I've never loved any cat as much as Crowfeather, but now he scorns me! Even my own kits hate me! And Hollyleaf, she would rather see one of us dead! My daughter – my only daughter! Dead because of me!"

Her voice cracked with emotion. "StarClan knows I've done many stupid things, but this one has to be the most mouse-brained of them all!"

Leafpool bent her head, as though it was weighed down with all the shame and disgrace the world had thrown at her. Squirrelfight reached over and licked her gently between the ears.

Leafpool pondered silently in her head. For a moment, she thought of asking her sister to claw out her throat and put an end to her miserable life. Maybe, if she was lucky enough, she would be reborn a new cat just like her late mentor Cinderpelt; a fresh new start ahead of her and being able to live the life she always wanted.

As if she could read her sister's thoughts, Squirrelflight moved in closer to Leafpool, breathing in her scent as she rubbed her pelt against her sister's, trying her best to comfort her.

The two cats sat in silence as they watched the night slowly give way to sunrise, signalling the mark of another new day.

They may have lost the ones dearest to them.

But at least they still had each other... 

* * *

It is nice to write something other than Chipmunks fics. Well, what d'you think? Please review, and don't forget to check out my other fics (that is, if you've just gotten to know me!)


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